


Bridge our division

by DarlingAmatus, Leofina



Series: "You're terribly dull and I hate you" [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 09:56:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5581363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingAmatus/pseuds/DarlingAmatus, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leofina/pseuds/Leofina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The heat of an argument changes to a different sort of heat...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bridge our division

**Author's Note:**

> Roleplayed by DarlingAmatus (Dorian Pavus) and little me (Cullen Rutherford)
> 
> Since I adapted our roleplay logs to a story - please note that english is not my native language. :D  
> I hope you enjoy our Cullrian Story that most certainly will become a larger series, than we first expected.

Dorian was pissed, or was bitter the better term here? How dare mother Giselle get into the middle of his affairs. He had half a mind to do something about her incessant butting in of his life. He sat at the bar thanking whatever god there was that Bull and his chargers weren't there to distract him from his binge drinking. He had no desire for company at this moment. But as luck would have it their lord inquisitor had found him.

"Come to take me up on that offer then?" He said as he took another drink from his cup.

"Dorian, You can't let this get to you. How bad could it be?"

"How bad could it be!?" Dorian balked then took a breath to calm himself. The inquisitor didn't know about what his father had done to him.

"Whatever happened between you two, I am sure you could work it out. I asked The Commander to send word that we'd meet with him, but you wouldn't be alone."

Dorian blinked at the elf like he had grown two heads. How dare they go behind his back like this!  
He stood from his stool swiping his bottle of alcohol from the counter. "Excuse me." he said to their Inquisitor before he stomped out of the tavern heading directly to the tower where Cullen's quarters were.

Cullen was in his office, signing papers and reading reports - but somehow his mind drifted away from his tasks. When the Inquisitor asked him to answer the request from Tevinter, it just felt wrong. But he promised Dorian’s secret to be safe with him, he couldn’t explain it to anyone. With a sigh he removed his gloves and rolled the papers.

Dorian had told him everything, what his father had done to him, how could a meeting could possibly go well with the bundled hatred that the commander saw in Dorian's eyes when he talked about his father. He rubbed his neck at the finished message, sealing the paper with the Inquisition's emblem and was about to leave the office to look for a messenger who was about to leave for Tevinter, when Dorian came to his office.

Cullen instantly sensed that something was wrong, Dorian's expression, that look in his eyes - he never had seen the mage this angry.

"Who the hell do you think you are getting involved in this!? Why can't you just leave well enough alone. The both of you." Dorian stopped right up to Cullen's desk his eyes glazed in his slight drunkenness but the anger was clear as day, the betrayal he felt.

Cullen frowned and placed all the notes down to the desk, rising his open palms toward Dorian’s harsh approach, in a matter to tell him to calm down, but his eyes moved to the bottle and he knew that reason wouldn't solve this situation. Dorian also confessed to him his alcohol issue, so seeing him with that bottle was quite disturbing and alarming.

"Dorian - I need you to calm. I uh... i am pretty sure we can handle this and working things out. I got the order from the Inquisitor and I have to obey." He instantly knew that this answer was not helping the whole situation but he couldn't say more since Dorian cut him off.

Dorian snarled. "Don't you tell me to calm down! You knew.. I told you! I told you what he did to me! But instead of thinking of me you'd rather listen to him! Anything for the inquisitor, right? Who the hell cares about what I think as long as he is happy, everything is good." He scathed as his grip tightened on the bottle then he brought it up to his lips to take a deep drink from it. Maker Cullen never had seen Dorian this angry, that it was a most sensitive topic did not help Cullen to find the right words. Since they returned from the Arbon Wilds - they barely were able to chat or actually have one of their meetings to play chess or just talk. He just discovered these unknown feelings and still struggled hard to be certain what was going on in his heart and mind.

"Dorian...please..hear me out." He said calmly and meant to take away the bottle.

"No!" Dorian backed away as Cullen made a grab for the bottle. "You..You don't get to tell me what to do anymore! I was foolish to think you were different. I should have known.” Cullen was quite overwhelmed by this wave of hate and disappointment that Dorian attacked him with. He was somehow hurt that Dorian actually thought that he would do anything behind his back after all he told him. He was loyal and reliable - he actually never even considered to get Dorian to any harm. The letter to Tevinter was still on the desk but Cullen couldn't reach it, since Dorian continued to yell at him.

“I thought...I thought you were actually interested...You seemed interested that night at the waterfall... Guess you were just curious." Dorian finally finished. He just wanted to go into a corner and cry, or drink until he passed out. The later seemed more enjoyable as he did not wish to deal with this pain not now, not ever.

A fuzzy tickling mixed with the commander’s nervousness. He did know that Cullen was there, watching? Maker’s breath. He was certain this was not the case. His cheek flushed and the blond needed to look away, embarrassed even more than before. Since then there was no moment Cullen did not think of him but they also never had a chance to talk or even make this a matter. That Dorian knew about it all along, that he had set him up, that he intended to tease him - and succeeded, that he had hopes for the commander’s interest, ...he lacked to find proper words.

Dorian felt what little hope he had for something between him and Cullen fracture when the other avoided his eye contact. It hurt more than anything ever had. He shook his head and turned prepared to forget anything that had happened between them. Hot bitter tears stung at his eyes so he turned away planning on walking out when Cullen grabbed his arm and spun him around. He was about to beg for Cullen to release him, it hurt to much to be near him right now, but then Cullen's lips were crashing down on his own.

It was a bold and sudden move of Cullen, almost surprised by himself to claim the others lips like he had. But he saw Dorian’s eyes, he feared to once again losing his chance with someone he cared for. He was this foolish before - back in the circle. And he swore to not let this happen again. The kiss broke quite quickly and when no one of them said anything in that moment, Cullen forced himself to at least try to explain himself to Dorian and his approach at least achieved the other to stay, staring at him. "Forgive me, I … I should have handled this better...I uhm... i was eh.." When again he could not find any proper words, blown away by the kiss and what it triggered in him - Cullen turned to his desk with a sigh and picked up the note so Dorian could read what he meant to send to Tevinter. With shaky hands he opened it and he gasped at what he read.

_"[...] With all due respect, Lord Pavus - as commander of the inquisition, I can not grant you the permission to come to Skyhold. I believe it should be your son's wish/request to invite you. A wish the inquisition will respect and not claim to be unseen. [...]"_

Dorian read it twice over to be sure that he wasn't reading it wrong before looking up at Cullen who was standing there awkwardly. He did the only thing that came to mind.

He dropped the bottle that shattered on the floor but he couldn't care less about the mess as he shoved Cullen back against the wall and attached their lips together once again. His hand that was pressed firmly against the Commander's armor was in desperate need to feel Cullen so it slid up until his fingers touched Cullen's strong jaw, his hands slid further up so that his fingers buried into blond hair as he gripped it slightly so that he could tilt the male's head for better leverage to kiss him.

[(Reference for this scene)](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/445645325605400527/)

  
Cullen let out a short sound of surprise, allowing Dorian anything as he enjoyed those full smooth lips, tasting a little bit of alcohol but focused on so many other things in this moment. The kiss was unlike anything Dorian had ever experienced. It was endearing the way Cullen hesitantly returned the affections of their kiss due to lack of inexperience but he knew that once Cullen was comfortable with this, he would be a passionate lover indeed. The word lover struck Dorian in his heart and he pulled back from the kiss despite his tongue wanting to stay planted firmly in the Commander's mouth, He licked over the seam of Cullen's lips one last time before retreating his lips completely.

When Dorian felt Cullen's hand on his cheek he turned his face into it so he could nuzzle and press a gentle kiss to his palm when the blond said quitely:  
"I hope you believe me...that I felt horrible to uhm..eh...secretly have watched you. But I couldn't look away.. i uhm...I just couldn't. He stumbled over each word and decided to turn his sentence

"I wish you didn't" Dorian said. "Feel horrible about it I mean. I...I knew you were there since the very beginning. It's why I even started to do it. I should be the one asking for forgiveness. It seems I have caused you great distress over this." Dorian whispered into his palm, his tongue slipping out to lick up the meaty bit before trailing it up the commanders thumb, his eyes never leaving Cullen's. "Forgive me?" He asked before drawing Cullen's thumb into his mouth completely. He knew he wasn't playing fair but he couldn't resist himself. After these two kisses it was like the damn Dorian had built to hold his feelings back had burst open.  
Cullen swallowed hard. The warmth inside his chest almost got unbearable, his legs felt weak and his pulse...was probably a cause of concern.

He couldn't say a single word, he shook his head as he gave in and pulled Dorian at his belt back to his lips. He never thought men lips could be this smooth..and he knew exactly what he was doing..It was easy for Cullen to adapt and do the same.

In all his years no one had ever kissed Dorian with such passion, nor had any kiss made him feel like he was...like he was worth more than just a few stolen moments of passion before they went their separate ways and forgot all about their encounter. No, what he senses here with Cullen was different, and potentially dangerous. All his life he had always wondered if he had ever been loved a single moment and to this day he'd always been 95% sure of the answer, but now....now Cullen was turning his world upside down.

Air became a necessity and their lips parted. Dorian whimpered at the loss of Cullen's soft full lips on his but blinked hazy hazel eyes at the commander who was still blushing a pretty pink while he tried to sort out his emotions.  
"I don’t know what this is.. I mean.." Cullen sighed by the lack of words and looked into the mage's eyes with his flushed dark cheeks before concern was readable "...this is real, isn't it? As for me it feels as real as my heartbeat.." An inner insecurity crawled up, he could hear Branson's voice "You really are not made for love, you are bonded with your duties, brother." Shoveling that thought away quickly, the blonde tried to add more explanation, again stuttering like a fool.

"I eh...I..never.." He rubbed his neck in his usual manner when nervousness overwhelmed him.

Dorian saw in Cullen's eyes what he himself was feeling. He smiled up at the commander and he placed a soft kiss to his lips to cut off his ramblings. "I..I am not sure what this is either, but what I know for certain is that there is no one I'd rather be here with than you Amatus." Dorian admitted his own cheeks tinting red at this deceleration.

"The feeling is very mutual, Dorian. I...uh..the other way around, I mean. Not with me but with you. I mean ..I feel the same with you" he stumbled over his words and had to chuckle himself "Forgive me, this all sounded better in my head”.

Dorian's smile was growing by the minute. He wondered how he had gotten so lucky to catch a man such as this' eyes. "That is where you are wrong Amatus, This all sounds just as wonderful out loud than in your head I am sure. I am expecting to wake from this dream any minute. In fact if I didn't know any better I would say you are one of those demons that like to plague mage's dreams to tempt them away from the path of the light." Dorian teased as he nuzzled Cullen's neck before pulling, noticing how Cullen acting all shy, looking away about the statement of demons. Those triggered not so pleasant memories to the commander’s mind and he looked away for a short moment.

“It's only been you for months now.” Dorian said to draw those brown eyes back to his gaze, turning the topic to something brighter - and succeeded. Their eyecontact carried something magical, something serious and beautiful with it, words could not do that feelin any justice.

"...for months you say...maker and you never..considered to tell me?" Cullen lifted Dorian's chin and admired his handsome features, feeling more and more sure about what he felt for the mage in front of him. A mage from all the people around him - perish the thought.

"You...are on my mind since I've saw you when.. Uhm you know when." Again Cullen massaged his neck nervously when he had the picture on his mind again. "You kind of - woke me up...And yet I...I...I don't know what to do. I am not quite certain what uhm.." He took a deep breath - sweet maker he was acting like an idiot. Shaking his head "I just...want...to make it right" he summarized it simple and brushed his thumb over Dorian's bottom lip "...if you allow me to.."  
Dorian hadn't stopped to consider the fact that Cullen wouldn't know what to do with a man, was even unsure if Cullen had ever been with a female and he tilted his head, then he smiled and he took the others hand, if they were doing this they were doing it right.

"Don't worry, I know exactly what to do to remedy the situation. Are you ready for your lessons Commander? You'd better be because the punishment if you don't learn your lessons could be quite server." Dorian said with a teasing smirk.

Cullen chuckled to that amused and a bit more relaxed than before "I know why I asked you to teach the mages..never expected myself to become..uhm..some sort of apprentice myself now." He swallowed hard, did he wanted to do it right here? Right now? That put him into panic, simply because he wasn't prepared for that - never expected this day to turn this path. "I uhm..I don't know...there are quite a lot tasks to do..and and and I meant to send words to your father..as you know. "

Dorian wasn't at all surprised when Cullen put the breaks on the current events, and he was not at all opposed to it. He had a point when he mentioned that there was a lot to be done, Dorian had a lot of preparing himself to do, more for himself than any task for tine inquisition itself. He would make sure he would be well prepared for tonight. He wanted to just tell Cullen to ignore the reply to his father but he knew his father was a persistent man and wouldn't stop trying. Dorian didn't let on just how worried he was to hear word from his father after all this time.  
Cullen lifted Dorian's hand and placed a kiss on his wrist like the gentleman his mother raised him "Meet me tonight here - the office is my home as you might know" he gave him a nervous but honest warm smile and rested his forehead against Dorian's. "I want to try it with you, I want this to be real, I want this to work..between us"

He smiled at Cullen's last words and he couldn't help but lean forward and give him a lingering kiss. If it had been anyone else saying these things Dorian's cynical mind would be kicking in and seeing it all for the lie that it usually was. Though with Cullen he knew this was true and he still couldn't quite wrap his mind around the idea that he had actually found someone who gave a damn about him.  
"Then I will see you tonight Amatus." Dorian said with a smile before he turned to take his leave.

 


End file.
